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The Last Girl - Kitty Thomas The pain flowers out like a lotus blossom and then transforms into a deep yearning.
He is both the disease and the cure.

Six years after the incident that happened in Juliette’s house, nightmares plaque her every dream of a man whom she'd touch, now the obsession of the man adheres to claiming her, and the time was due.
as he said:
“Six years,” he says quietly. With my eyes shut, the only thing I can process is his voice as it drops over me like a blanket. “It’s not a lot of time to a vampire, but it’s still a long time for a sentient being to be lonely after you’ve found the one you want. And you have to watch her laugh with others and hold hands and have crushes. And you can’t be near her during the day, which is when most of her life happens. If she’s in danger during that time, you can’t stop it.”

Christian's obsession resonates through the span of six years, being in her mind, he knows every secrets and desires she hold, he wanted to possess her body,craves her blood but most of all takes her virginity.

“I want to drink you until there’s nothing left. I want you to magically rematerialize so I can do it again. I want a phoenix that will rise from the ashes just so I can keep burning her. I thought I knew madness, but I didn’t know it before you.”

Juliette was his only hope for the little humanity inside him, he'd taken women through out his life but only Juliette stand out to him,
He’s silent for a long while then he says, “You are special to me. I hold you in higher regard than any other human, though that isn’t saying much. I don’t wish harm to come to you, but I know it will. The longer you’re with me, the higher the odds rise in that direction. I don’t think the capability to love is still with me, but I hold out hope I won’t destroy you. Even so, your pain still gives me pleasure, more than the pain of anyone else because you are you.

but he's a primal beast, he gets what he wants and used it to whatever the cause but what if his obsession wasn't only to take and control Juliette, what if love did exist in him? what if she was the only way to save the human in him?

His instinct is to kill me. His desire is to love me.

I enjoyed this book, it wasn't disturbing at best, some of the sex scenes were perfunctory but what I love most is Christian's vulnerability, I get that he's a sadist but he cared for Julliette, no matter what happens.
Whatever human emotions have sublimated my animal nature, they are gone now, replaced by the certainty of my continued ownership of her. She is MINE.
I’d thought Shakespeare was an illogical sap. You can’t fall in love that fast. Not real love. Real love takes time, like a fine wine. Real love takes years. Not days. Not weeks. No one has such a short relationship and becomes so deeply entwined. I thought the playwright was foolish, but I’m the foolish one. He was right about this kind of love. It burns past logic and all rational time lines to consume everything.

Author's note.
Warning: This book is meant for a mature audience and contains master/slave, group sexual activity, sadomasochism, girl-on-girl, oral and anal play, exhibitionism, blood play, edge play, as well as one other thing I’m not warning you about because it would be a spoiler... but it’s not a big taboo.